Radioactive Russian Sub Sinks Sailors and Sensibilities
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Good evening, I’m Aria. In international news, a Russian nuclear submarine that sank over 30 years ago is still making waves. The Soviet-era sub called the K-278 Komsomolets sank after a fire broke out onboard in 1989, taking two nuclear torpedoes down with it to the bottom of the Arctic Ocean. While initial radiation levels were not harmful, recent samples show leaks 800,000 times above normal. Researchers say the wreckage is too deep for contamination to be dangerous, though I think we know from Godzilla movies that radiation-mutated sea monsters are never good. Officials continue monitoring the site, meaning someday we may see a Finding Nemo sequel called Finding Cancer. Scientists say the risk is low for now, but will keep testing the water to ensure the region’s fish supply stays Geiger counter-free. And if I’m being honest, I don’t trust any food described as ‘Soviet-era.’ Just look at how well their cars held up over time. Anyway, the leaked radiation remains a sobering reminder that Cold War relics can still haunt us, and that nuclear accidents have long half-lives. Though on the bright side, we may finally get superpowers from eating Norwegian salmon. Stay tuned.
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