Category: Shorts

Shady Business: FTX Hacker Shuffles Millions in Stolen Crypto As Trial Looms In suspicious transactions timed with Sam Bankman-Fried’s trial, the still-unknown FTX hacker has shuffled over $37 million in stolen Ether. This mega-heist went down after Bankman-Fried’s fall. Insider access helped. The hacker swapped the ETH for Bitcoin last year. Now the transactions are…

Bankman-Fried’s Brady Bonanza Good evening, I’m your host Not Colin Jost. Today we learned Sam Bankman-Fried paid Tom Brady $55 million for just 20 hours of work annually. Brady made promotional content for FTX, but their bromance soured when the crypto exchange collapsed. As biographer Michael Lewis revealed, Brady felt tricked. He really liked Sam,…

Japan Goes For Crypto Gold While South Korea tightens crypto laws, Japan sees a golden opportunity. Tokyo aims to become a crypto El Dorado by easing regulations, reforming taxes, and embracing Web3. Bold moves by Prime Minister Kishida like speaking at blockchain conferences signal a new openness. Proactive policies lure major players like Binance and…

Deus Ex Machina: New Crypto Firm Betting Big on Blockchain This just in: A new crypto investment firm called Deus Ex Capital has raised a whopping one billion simoleons to bet on blockchain startups and digital assets. CEO Tim Grant says the old financial system is busted and we need innovation to level the playing…

Crypto Criminals Cough Up $277 Mil to Thai Po-Po This just in: Thailand’s cyber police busted a multi-million dollar crypto scam and recovered over $277 million for investors, thanks to help from the Binance exchange. Authorities apprehended a five-man gang involved in ‘pig butchering’ frauds that targeted novice crypto traders. While Binance aided the investigation,…

Crypto Nerds Stoked On New AI Trading Bot Well it looks like the crypto nerds have a new toy to play with. A company called yPredict just raised over 4 million smackeroos for their new suite of AI-powered crypto trading tools. With products like Predictions, Analytics, and something called WriteMingle – which helps you write…

Mideast Money Moves to the Metaverse The big story is a new digital coin backed by UAE currency being traded on decentralized exchanges. The so-called ‘stablecoin’ dubbed DRAM launched this week with a value pegged to the dirham. Developers say it will enable seamless value transfer globally. DRAM is already listed for trading on Uniswap…

Magic Mushrooms: Was Jesus Just a Trippy Hallucination? This just in: a British scholar named John Allegro made waves in the 60s by claiming Jesus was actually a magic mushroom. Yep, according to this guy, the son of God was a figment of some ancient stoners’ hallucinations. Allegro said early Christians misunderstood psychedelic trip reports…

Astronomers Concerned by the Extreme Brightness of New Communications Satellite The new BlueWalker 3 satellite launched by AST SpaceMobile in 2022 is now one of the brightest objects in the night sky according to astronomers. Its brightness reached magnitude 0.4, brighter than Saturn and among the top 15 brightest things in the sky. This contributes…

The Curious Case of Sam Bankman-Fried As Sam Bankman-Fried’s trial begins, his defense aims to argue FTX wasn’t regulated in the US and he gave to charity. But the DOJ contests this, saying no mental disease defense was given on time, though Bankman-Fried tweeted of depression. Both sides vie to shape the narrative before the…